Cold. Way too bloody cold. Thermometer down in the single digits, snot freezing in your nose – I just don’t know how people do this for extended periods of time. And we haven’t even gotten any snow – if we’re gonna freeze our buns off we should at least be able to make a stupid snowman or two. And what absolutely kills me is that local schools and universities are STILL closing. Because it’s cold. Here in the South, we expect occasional nips of cold but they almost always depart as soon as they arrive. We’ve gotten snow that actually buried the grass twice in the last 15 years, and it’s melted clean away by that afternoon. I just don’t know how you Northerners do it. How do you function all wrapped up in all those layers for months on end? If nothing else, all the static would do me in – I’m shocking myself no matter what I try to do. Cold and snow are fine as a novelty, but I have a new appreciation for what people (made of much tougher stuff than me, obviously) must go through on a daily basis under these arctic conditions. No f-ing way, man. I’m a marshmallow…..

And on that note, I’m going to stick my fingers in my hot chocolate mug and count my blessings.