Lousy picture. Stupid iPhone. I need a real camera.

d8pt13po

And I’m still apathetic. Self-preservation? Probably. I’m sort of picturing it as one hurdle down. There are still lots of them to come.

I don’t feel excited or worried at this point. I’m so used to taking things one day at a time, I’ve been doing it for months already. I’ve told you guys, D and my sister (which is as good as telling my entire family). The other people who know I’m having “the test” tomorrow will find out tomorrow when I get the numbers. I’m not telling anyone else until I’m good and ready and I have no clue when that will be. I can’t say the p-word, couldn’t last time, and I will probably break out in a rash when/if someone congratulates me. If this pg sticks around, I guess I’ll have to learn to deal.

I didn’t pee on anything the last IVF cycle, I was too scared. This time I wanted to know. I was still scared, but I decided that if the news was gonna be bad, I’d get it one way or another. And I really, really hate these PIO shots this time around. Upside, pg. Downside, at least I get to stop these damn shots. So, Sunday (5pt10po) I tested and it was negative. So….that’s a put-your-money-where-your-mouth-is moment, isn’t it? Dammit. I had one more test, so I figured I’d wait till the day before the blood work. And there it is – I was prepared either way. I have had no bleeding, spotting, anything. No real symptoms. Mildly sore boobs, bit of a headache, crampy and crabby – all my normal menstrual stuff.

So. I don’t really know what else to say, except to thank all of you for your good wishes and support. Thanks for being here, through all of it….. 🙂

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