Christmas was….interesting. It was good, but there were a couple of dive-bomb conversations with my mother that were difficult. Not much time to talk, she asked for an easy answer an extremely complex past topic, and I gave it as best I could. I didn’t even know I thought those things until she put me on the spot. She was stunned, I stood my ground. She said she was sorry, but not in so many words – not my mama. I love her dearly, and I see myself taking after her more and more (and some of it scares me) My father tried to smooth the conversation over. Complete role reversal. It’s such an interesting, complex thing – seeing and interacting with your parents as an adult. Maybe I’ll squeeze a post out of all that later – still processing everything.

The woman I work with who shared my due date had her baby today. 8 lbs some-other-measurement, head full of hair. Mother and baby doing well – I’m genuinely happy for her. I’m also unbelievably glad that’s over.

I never actually wished her any ill, though you probably couldn’t tell it from looking over past posts. I couldn’t tell – venom dripping right beneath the surface of a lot of them. I’m tired of being jealous, and tired of waiting and tired of being tired. I feel that I’m on the edge of…….something. Good or bad, I don’t know. I’ll know when it gets here.

I’m also feeling very quiet and reflective, don’t have a lot to say – have a few posts brewing, just having trouble getting anything out.

Peace, y’all.

Advertisements