I had a miscarriage at midnight tonight.  I’d been bleeding (third episode of it) and thought it was stopping.  I was wrong.  I woke up in horrible pain, D decided to take me to the ER no matter what I said and then it happened.  I felt a rush and suddenly the pain stopped.  Went to the bathroom, and there it was.  I’d seen an u/s yesterday with a healthy heartbeat, nothing to worry about, just put your goddamn feet up.  Silent screaming…….

I’m so lost.  I feel so empty, and that I never belonged here in the first place.

So cold and numb.

The calm before the storm, I think.  I don’t know what to do, where to go, how to be.

Fucking.Goddamn.Hell.  How tough does the fracking universe think I need to goddamn fucking be??!!